Recently, there is a case that may become international news, or at least in several countries. Indonesian netizens are among the most responsive or at least follow this case. I am one of them, I am one of those who have followed the case since the beginning of the news. What case? The case of the death of Tangmo Nida, one of the top actresses in Thailand. I was like most netizens, I didn’t know her until a sad incident happened which led to various kinds of speculation.
The latest update is that a re-autopsy was carried out on Tangmo Nida’s body, which had previously been about to be cremated because the case had already been declared closed. The insistence of fans and many people demanding justice for Tangmo, made the investigation continue. I’m personally grateful for the investigation to continue, and hope that justice can be served. At the same time, we hope Tangmo is already resting in peace.
This article is not entirely about the Tangmo Nida case, because if it is indeed proven that her close friend as her manager was involved in Tangmo’s murder — if it is proven to be murder —, this will explain a lot to us. One of them is the people who have the most potential to hurt us, whether for taking advantage or out of envy, are the people closest to us. Which could be friends, best friends, relatives, part of our family, or our partners. “Is that means we should always be suspicious of those closest to us? We can’t trust anyone?”
That’s a bit true, but in this complicated life with so many needs to fulfill, activities to do, responsibilities to carry out, I find it hard not to trust anyone. Always being suspicious also makes our lives seem uneasy, doesn’t it?
I think many people must have had the same experience, whether it was being betrayed, cheated, being stabbed back, by people they might have trusted before. I’ve been experiencing that too. Then what do I do? Of course, at first, I feel angry, sometimes I tell the person about the problem, sometimes it’s enough for me to know. Then experiences like that trained me to see it as a normal thing to happen in life.
The first time experiencing such a thing is certainly shocking and dramatic, “How could that happen to me?” Over time it trained me to see that behind every person, who we consider good or evil, is a human being who struggles to survive every day. The problem is the ways of survival of each person are different because the needs of each of us are also different.
Some people need acceptance from others because maybe that’s what’s missing from their life. Some people just need friends in their life. Some people find it very difficult even to meet their basic needs. Some have too many demands in life which makes them too ambitious. All kinds of things do not make evils justifiable, because often evils are committed not because they are forced, but because it is fun for some people. The point is we can’t be too innocent in our minds as if there’s nothing behind everyone’s actions.
Once someone told me about the betrayal she and I got, “No, I can’t believe he did something like that, because if he did he’s a monster.” Then my response is, “Maybe he’s just a person trying to survive that way, and we are the ones who trust his goodness too much without putting up any defenses.”
It’s not that I think the behavior is justifiable, but by getting used to it, we become focused on ourselves. It’s like we are a house, and out there full of wild animals, what we do is certainly not kill or fight all the wild animals that exist. Simply we build a house that has a strong enough defense from the attacks of the beasts. “Like how?”
Set privacy, set boundaries, distract people as if you say anything about all of your life but you don’t tell the most important part of your life. So, the point is they don’t know too much about you, and last but not least is get ready for the worst. That’s all I can do in my life since I knew that no one can be trusted. It’s not that I never talk about my life, never socialize, or never work with people. So it’s more of a boundary, for example, I only allow myself to share 20% of my life, and that’s the maximum.
In short, even with the closest people don’t let your guard down. If people still betray us, at least they only managed to break through our outer defenses.
The bad news is, even though we have put up defenses like that, sometimes we might still miss it too. So this is a cliche but I think this is the truest one, just leave it all to God. If someone is good for us, ask to be near, and if someone is bad for us, ask to be shown and kept away.
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May we all be kept away from such bad things.
